Big Shots
by OuEstLaCraie
Summary: House joins a chat room, and talks to some other big shots. HouseCSIWithout a Trace crossover. Rated T. Read and review, please!


_**Author's Note: **So I was bored, and I felt like writing something new, and this is what I got! It's another IM fic, but this one's a bit different...House joins a chat room and talks to some other big shots (namely, Gil Grissom of CSI and Jack Malone of Without a Trace). Don't pester me, but I MAY extend this to give House a chance to chat it up with some of my other favorite TV characters. Enjoy : )_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one.

* * *

**_EvrybdyLiez signed on at 10:21 PM_

_**EvrybdyLiez entered the chat room "Big Shots: A Place for Professionals to Network, Chat, and Vent"**_

**EvrybdyLiez: **hizzle meh professional shizzles

**BugManLVPD: **Never seen you around here before.

**EvrybdyLiez: **never had the time

**EvrybdyLiez: **and who r u?

**EvrybdyLiez: **spider-man's lame-ass cousin?

**BugManLVPD: **Actually, I'm Gil Grissom of the Las Vegas Crime Lab

**BugManLVPD: **And you are...?

**EvrybdyLiez: **Dr. Gregory House, head of the Department of Diagnostic Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.

**EvrybdyLiez: **haha, my title's longer than yours

**BugManLVPD: **You're really some socially-inept teenager holed up in a dark basement somewhere in the Midwest, aren't you?

**EvrybdyLiez: **if i were, i wouldn't be wasting my time here

**BugManLVPD: **Good point.

**BugManLVPD: **So, you're a doctor?

**EvrybdyLiez: **duh

**EvrybdyLiez: **I've got a double specialty in nephrology and infectious disease

**EvrybdyLiez: **beat that, bug man

**BugManLVPD: **I'm an entomologist.

**EvrybdyLiez: **sooo...u study bugs for a living?

**BugManLVPD: **Among other things, yes.

**EvrybdyLiez: **I hate bugs

**BugManLVPD: **I love them.

**EvrybdyLiez: **u scare me

**BugManLVPD: **Your grammar scares me.

**EvrybdyLiez: **fair enough

**EvrybdyLiez: **what's it like working in Vegas?

**BugManLVPD: **It's...busy.

**EvrybdyLiez: **but, i mean, all the hookers and the drugs and the drinking and the gambling...it's great, right?

**BugManLVPD: **I don't partake in any of those activities.

**EvrybdyLiez: **damn, I'd be out every nite

**BugManLVPD: **I figured as much.

**EvrybdyLiez: **New jersey sucks

**EvrybdyLiez: **wanna trade places?

**BugManLVPD: **No.

**EvrybdyLiez: **damn

**EvrybdyLiez: **since ur married to ur job...are u like one of those detectives guys or something?

**BugManLVPD: **I'm a CSI.

**BugManLVPD: **And I'm not married to my job.

**EvrybdyLiez: **r u married at all?

**BugManLVPD: **Why would I tell you? I barely know you.

**EvrybdyLiez: **easy there, Gil. just making conversation

**EvrybdyLiez: **moving on...ur a head honcho in the lab right?

**BugManLVPD: **I'm the night shift supervisor.

**EvrybdyLiez: **my job's 24/7

**BugManLVPD: **As is mine. We're just assigned the cases that happen overnight. Our jobs doesn't end at dawn.

**EvrybdyLiez: **we get cases that happen any time, day or night, any day of the year

**BugManLVPD: **How many people work for you, Dr. House?

**EvrybdyLiez: **three

**EvrybdyLiez: **and it's "worked"

**BugManLVPD: **I'm surprised.

**BugManLVPD: **I'd think a man with your charms would be able to hold on to employees forever.

**EvrybdyLiez: **heyy, ur being sarcastic, aren't u?

**EvrybdyLiez: **didn't think u had it in you

**EvrybdyLiez: **and fyi, two of them quit...I fired the third

**BugManLVPD: **I have to keep an eye on five CSIs, as well as numerous detectives and lab techs, to make sure none of them jeopardizes the case.

**EvrybdyLiez: **r u implying that my job is _easy_?

**BugManLVPD: **Not at all. I'm just making conversation.

**EvrybdyLiez: **meh

_EvrybdyLiez is typing..._

**EvrybdyLiez: **oddly enough, i think i like u

**BugManLVPD: **I'm honored.

**EvrybdyLiez: **don't be. I like you b/c ur like me.

**BugManLVPD: **Really? How so?

**EvrybdyLiez: **as my friend Wilson would say, we're both surrounded by ppl, but we're utterly alone. we both have our quirks. and I'd guess neither of us gives a shit about what other ppl think about us.

**BugManLVPD: **Very insightful, Dr. House.

**EvrybdyLiez: **well, i like 2 think so

**BugManLVPD: **As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I have to get back to putting bad guys in jail.

**EvrybdyLiez: **yeah, I got lives to save over here

**EvrybdyLiez: **see u around

**BugManLVPD: **We'll talk again soon. Compare notes about our respective jobs.

**BugManLVPD: **See if your theory is correct.

**EvrybdyLiez: **oh boy, i can't wait

**EvrybdyLiez: **((sarcasm))

**BugManLVPD: **Good night, Dr. House.

**EvrybdyLiez: **have fun fighting crime, Bug Man

**EvrybdyLiez: **and remember: everybody lies

**BugManLVPD: **But the evidence never does.

_BugManLVPD is Away at 10: 47 PM_

**EvrybdyLiez: **anyone else out there in cyber space wanna talk to a sarcastic ass?

**JMalone: **Not especially.

**EvrybdyLiez: **how bout a respected doctor?

**JMalone: **Jack Malone, FBI Missing Persons Unit.

**EvrybdyLiez: **Gregory House, Diagnostics Department at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital

**JMalone: **Ah, so you _can _use capital letters?

**EvrybdyLiez: **yes...i just choose not to

**JMalone: **I'm beginning to understand what you meant by "sarcastic ass"

**EvrybdyLiez: **u FBI guys aren't very imaginative, are you?

**JMalone: **Whaddaya mean?

**EvrybdyLiez: **ur screen name

**EvrybdyLiez: **it's lame

**JMalone: **It's just the one I use at the office.

**JMalone:** At home, I'm SexiiJackii19.

**EvrybdyLiez: **oh, the secret lives of federal agents

**JMalone: **Yeah.

**JMalone: **So aren't we supposed to be networking/chatting/venting about our jobs?

**EvrybdyLiez: **my job's nothing special. I write prescriptions, save lives, yadda yadda yadda

**EvrybdyLiez: **and im guessing u find missing ppl

**JMalone: **We try.

**EvrybdyLiez: **u the head of ur unit?

**JMalone: **Yeah. How about you?

**EvrybdyLiez: **I'm the department head

**JMalone: **It's a lot of work, isn't it?

**EvrybdyLiez: **making sure other ppl don't screw up? _oh_ yeah

**JMalone: **It's worth it, though. Saving people, I mean.

**EvrybdyLiez: **guess so

**JMalone: **You like what you do?

**EvrybdyLiez: **i like solving puzzles, and i get the cases no one else can solve, so...yeah. it kills time between soaps, anyway

**JMalone: **You watch _soap operas_?

**EvrybdyLiez: **DON'T JUDGE ME!!

**JMalone: **You're an interesting guy, Greg.

**EvrybdyLiez: **so people say

_JMalone is typing..._

**JMalone: **Break in the case. Gotta go.

**EvrybdyLiez: **bye

_JMalone is Away at 11:00 PM_

**EvrybdyLiez: **all my new buddies keep leaving me : (

**EvrybdyLiez: **anyone reading this? wanna vent about ur job w/ me?

**KickinitOldSkool: **Hey House.

**EvrybdyLiez: **go away Wilson! i can't let my new friends see me with such a geek!

**KickinitOldSkool: **What "new friends"?

**EvrybdyLiez: **they'll be back...ull see!

**KickinitOldSkool: **Sure House.

_KickinitOldSkool is typing..._

**KickinitOldSkool: **START INTERVIEWING!!

_KickinitOldSkool signed off at 11:02 PM_

**EvrybdyLiez: **I don't need a team...I have my new virtual buds.

**EvrybdyLiez: **so there


End file.
